Wildlife

Dear Blogosphere,

Today Robert McMillian and his wife stopped by the cookie store. They're from Palmdale California. They own a tabby cat named Charles who eats nothing but people food.

We talked, and Robert suggested that I major in wildlife biology, as opposed to restaurant management, which I told him I had been planning on majoring in. He says there is a lot of demand for wildlife biologists right now, because tabbies are going extinct (along with several other varieties of domesticated cats).   

People will always want tabbies, and the people that know where to find them in their natural habitat will always be able to roll in mucho buckos.

So I'm gonna be switching my major real soon.

The gals at work are planning a family get-together. I'm excited, but I don't want to take Josh... he embarrasses me, and I secretly think he may be casually murdering people in his spare time. There is this glint in his eyes when he comes home late on the weekends, like he may or may not have committed horrendous acts of unnecessary violence in all manner of bizarre ways.

I worry about him.

I love him, but at the same time... I don't want the girls at work ANYWHERE near him.

I can picture it now, my co-workers and their families all gathered together under a tree, having a picnic, and Josh sees two ducks by a pond. They're fighting; and he starts to laugh that deep, guttural, maniacal laugh of his: his evil laugh. All at the expense of the those poor ducks.

Children start crying, but Josh doesn't care, he keeps laughing. Now he is throwing stones at the ducks: "Die! Die! Die!" he screams!

The children and adults are both crying now. One of the ducks is dead. But that isn't enough for Josh. He now is trying to kill a squirrel scampering down a tree, a rabbit running to its hole, a golden retriever being walked through the park by a kindly old man. "Die! Die! Die!" he shouts to them all, thirsty for more blood.

And that is why I don't want to take him to the get-together with my co-workers.

But I do still think I want to switch my major to wildlife biology.

Until nextie time, waz-up and howsithappening!

       -Ely